


Donuts

by Storygirl000



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bruce is the Only Sane One, Civil War Abridged, Gen, Humor, donuts are Serious Business apparently, ported from my other account
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-02-07 04:27:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12833283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storygirl000/pseuds/Storygirl000
Summary: All Bruce wanted this morning was a cup of coffee. He can't help it if food is serious business to his teammates.





	Donuts

**Author's Note:**

> So this was ported from my account of the same name over at fanfiction dot net. I'm planning on doing the same with a few other stories. Have fun.

Out of all the things Bruce expected when he went into the kitchen this morning, he did not expect a full-scale war.

In the center were Tony and Steve, both suited up for battle. Steve seemed to be defending Bucky, who was lying on the floor in what looked like mock injury. His metal arm, for some reason, was detached from his body and sitting on a nearby table.

The three were surrounded by the rest of the Avengers, as well as a guy in a black cat suit, a man with a high-tech insectoid helmet, and a teenager in a spider-motifed outfit. They'd all been chanting "Civil War! Civil War! Civil War!"

Steve looked at Tony, deadly serious. "Sorry, Tony. You know I wouldn't do this if I had any other choice. But he's my friend."

Bruce assumed Tony was glaring at him, though the suit masked any emotions that might have been portrayed on his face. "So was I," he replied coldly.

"Hold on!" Bruce interrupted. "Just _what_ is going on here?"

Everyone looked at him. Then Tony pointed at Bucky. "He stole the last donut and the last soda!"

"I did not!" Bucky yelled defensively.

"That was my donut you stole," the man in the cat suit spoke. "I had dibs."

"And _my_ soda!" Tony added.

Bruce could already feel a headache coming on.

"Not only that, but Nat betrayed us," Rhodey growled, glaring at the assassin.

"Wait, betrayed?" Bruce asked.

Wanda looked at him sheepishly. "We...kinda split into teams over the donut."

"Black Widow, Black Panther, War Machine, Spider-Man, and I joined Iron Man," Vision explained. "Scarlet Witch, Ant Man, Hawkeye, and Falcon joined the Winter Soldier and Captain America."

"Except Natasha prevented me from apprehending Bucky when I could," the cat-suit man-whom Bruce assumed was Black Panther-said. He then directed yet another glare at the assassin.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "I only promised to help you find Bucky, nothing else."

Tony and Steve's attention turned back to each other, and the group started chanting again.

Bruce rolled his eyes. "You guys are all insane," he groaned. He walked past the gathered crowd, grabbed a cup of coffee, and headed towards the lab.

On the way, he passed Thor, who was feasting on Pop Tarts straight from the box. "Friend Banner, do you have any idea what is going on in the kitchen?" he asked.

Bruce sighed. "Not a clue."

00000

Outside the tower, a man stood. In his hands were a donut, a cup of soda, and a Bucky wig.

He looked at the tower and smirked.

"An empire toppled by its enemies can rise again, but one which crumbles from within?" he muttered to himself. He then took a bite out of the donut.

"That's dead... forever."


End file.
